Un-peaced (version 2)

Last night I dreamt and what a dream!

I cut off the top of my head

and fished around and around inside it

until I was finally free

My agonised mind scooped out of my body

and dumped on the carpet in tangled bits

Floating away, lovely and light

I left the whole damned mess  

right there

My mind with all its horror

I left it there

with not one care

 

No brain to know my story

there were no heavy stabs of grief

no dragging memories of monstrous nights

And not one muscle

tensed

for fear flung flights

 

Oh the blessed quiet

of a body without a brain

There was not one sound to dread

No hate-filled words from me to me

and! 

no screaming in my head

Finally

at last

my pain had ceased

In pieces

blessedly,

I was at peace

Yet, as I drifted lazy

with not a jot of care

my world faded to blank:

My eyes could not see, no brain told my nose of the roses beside the fish tank

My skin did not feel the tickle of sun

tongue no longer spoke of ice cream

ears did not recognise Magpie’s tune

nor heed

the crack of thunder of that

storm this dream-afternoon

 

I could not sleep, I did not wake

Every second just the same

I was a wellspring of nothing

Emotionless

Life now meant

not a thing

 

There was not one cognition

and never a wish

to top me up with hope

I was just a deadly boring body

tumbling down

a dangerous slope

See, in my dream, somehow, I knew…

Without my tortured brain

all my pain indeed did cease

but now mindless to beauty

drained of joy

In pieces

I would not find peace